EOD 18th May...JLT
Almost 11 in the night ...another pang of writing my blog. So what happened today?...Nothing started the day with Sujal's crude mails. Jigna got upset even more later when Sujal marked a mail to me which was originally sent by her. Very bad of him.
Anyway, life is going on in office ...people are showing their shocking faces everytime they hear i have quit ...interestingly enough or rather expected. Sometimes I keep wondering ...m I doing the right thing ...especially when I think how God got me a job in this company ... Lord what are you upto...i know u ve somethinbg up ur sleeve that's why keep getting these signs on how to recuperate from job losses.
I'm so insecured and I add to it with doing silly things... its high time I loosen up. Life is weird and not everybody's perfect. The early i understand that the easier will it be for me. I mean hold on the second...there are millions of people like me around...confused, trying to get a grip. okie time to go off to sleep...good night
Faith
Faith I can do all things through Christ. Yes Lord I can do all things through you but them defining all things is what you need to take over in my current life. I don know how much I justify quitting my job when this is the one that you miraculously got for me and strangely enough I feel you are showing me and going forward I mayt be having no job at all. But whatever the case may be ...Lord please don't forsake me and forgive me for my sin. Lord I need help...mental help..its like i ve solutions to all problems but biggest problem is I don't act on them....end of day when I come before you with my two bits you still love even though i ve been a naughty kid. Lord I'm going to be 27 this November, no more a kid...need to stabalize myself....please help...I cry out for HELP...please HELP...in aligning my thoughts for your growth (sounds very marketing :) jus help...i need not tell u what I need or want 'coz my needs might be someone's want and vice versa....I want to live a happy life and so a lot of others I know..Help me to make both ...Its not easy..no its not easy ...but please be with me...I cannot fathom how you took me through 4 LFWs...Dude u rock !! you are amazing ...just be with me for you are bigger than anything and I can move mountains with you...Love you Lord!
In Jesus name Amen!
Strange Feelings
I have a strange feeling inside me. I don know why...even though I have God's amazing Grace protecting and shadowing me everywhere and in everything...why are there unruly thoughts, rude sarcasms, pull down feeling thats making my conscious corrupted and closed...M I seriously so rigid and arrogant that I cannot deal with seniors at work?! From the beginning this has been a complain...Vinita, Archana, Ikshita...i mean m i that bad? I mean yes I know I can be a little 'Might is Right' but that can't be the only reason not to handle day to day issues with the bosses but the worse is I bring them home with me....m ming keeps racing with imaginations.
God's speaking...
even in this distressed time when trying to understand and again and again run away God is speaking to me through something or the other ....today he gave me a word through the Daily Bread website I frequent -- Why not be a light (Eph. 5:8)—through your smiles, kind words and deeds, and diligent work. Ask God to bring opportunities to share the good news of Jesus Christ. You may be the only light a co-worker sees today. — Dave Branon
Lord forgive me i was very insensitive to Sujal Shah...even I'm just ur child and no one big....i shudn't ve said what I said.. Lord I pray you will restore my relationship with Sujal...Lord I pray for this man who trying to be honest at his work....In Jesus name Amen!
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