Today everything went wrong - missed getin a duronto confirmed tckt due to few mins delay, the otr train tkt didn't confirm either, UID application booth was closed aftr i finally got every doc in place, 1 university denied my application, missed my lunch,missed submitting another college application coz SBI timins, a friend cancelled a meet without informin, got informed that my las company has not payed my tax yet ..... but amazingly enuf m so calm n cool ..... WOW! God has really worked in me. All praises to Him.
Woh Saath Din: The End
I tend to write blogs and big write-ups either when I have no one to share my thoughts with or when I’m irritated and frustrated or when I want to say my story in a dramatic way. Right now, it’s none of the above. But still I’m writing.
Almost a year ago, 10 months to be specific, I had penned down a story on Rishab and Vaibhavi called Who Saath Din. The third part of the so called blog tale was open ended for people to opine and time to tell.
As human beings we always want to be in control of everything. We want to dictate our fate and future, most of times forgetting that God or the Universe (for the non-believers) might have an extremely different plan and purpose for our lives. I really don’t know what is planned for Rish and Vaib but I can definitely entitle a suitable ending to the short but sweet and significant romantic involvement.
In basic words, it was not meant to be! Deep inside their hearts they still might have a little hook that gets entangled, every now and then, to the good times they spent and emotional connect they had but overall it is a closed chapter. WHY?! Well let’s put the KISS formula – Keep It Short and Simple J Wow that was easy… or may be not… but the truth is, it’s a dead end with no U-turns.
In a few days, may be, even the name will be a distant thought but the best part is …they wish each other well….always.
With all the happy moments and few regrets of falling apart (mostly losing the genuine friendship) I fare thee well both you Mr.Rishab and Vaibhavi, my friend. The hot air balloon has been let go with no direction or tracking device.
Good Bye and God Bless!
Change ...once again!
It’s been quite some time I ve not scribbled on my blog post though I’ve been having late nights watching movies on my computer. Whatever the reason is, it gives me the impetus to write a new one today. Right Now!!
As I was watching Kajal, my maid’s daughter, cleaning my 50 square feet kitchen, I was once again smiling at the ironies of life. Call it good or bad it’s an adventure in itself. Till date I get amazed by the fact that I live in a studio apartment that is actually half the size of my bedroom in Howrah. While Kajal was picking up the kachra from below my wash basin which is so close to the refrigerator and the clean utensils, I was forced to wonder why do we kill ourselves everyday working so hard that doesn’t even allow a ‘healthy living’?!
I read somewhere that ‘others money and owns problem always look bigger’. Well I totally agree… its very basic human psychology. But even as I’m writing this blog, I can picture the people living next to my building on the roadside. Dude, what am I cribbing about?! Looking at them every day when I go to office, I thank God for I’m blessed with a lot that’s not available to millions out there.
Last five years in Mumbai has been a lot of fun, friends and freedom. I thank and praise God for the mercies and blessings He has showered on me but suddenly I’m in a fix. I have always been this favoured Kilo India Delta (read KID who is protected and pampered) amongst my friends, family and professional contacts. But suddenly everything looks different. Not that I’ve grown up for them now but it’s the Winds of Change. Either people have got married or moved to new cities or my life has become busy and too far from human world to actually keep in touch. I have started understanding the real meaning of loneliness. It’s not about living alone in a city, it’s not about not having anyone on your phone to dial and it’s definitely not about not having a better half….it’s about YOU. It’s about how you prioritise and align your wants, needs and wishes with the outside world so that you are happy and at peace with yourself. So here I’m trying to re-figure my life after my various experiences in the last 27 years; and as I continue to re-arrange the fundamentals with the only constant thing called CHANGE, thanks for being my friend! J
This is probably the nth time I saw ‘Up In The Air” and lost in the world of nothingness. Yes I’m supposed to open the service marketing book for my next exams but instead my mind is wondering in the subtle hidden sarcastic dialogues and soundtrack of the movie. For those who haven’t seen this movie, here is a synopsis. With a background of the employment cut in United States during the economic downturn, Gorge Clooney aka Ryan Bingham travelled around the country firing people on behalf of the company. Bingham led an empty life out of a suitcase but enjoyed the anonymity of business class air travel and harboured a lifetime ambition to earn 10 million air miles The twist in the tale comes when a young employee, Natalie Keener, in the wake of revolutionising the industry methods brings the technique to ground; while another successful and confident woman Alex Goran, whom he met at one of his stop overs, tantalize Ryan into a casual relationship and complicates his life in more ways than one. ….The movie ends with the very interesting dialogue and a song that wraps up the movie in the best possible way:
Tonight most people will be welcomed home by jumping dogs and squealing kids, their spouses will ask about their day and tonight they will sleep thus stars will wheel forth from their daytime hiding places; and one of those lights, slightly brighter than the rest, will be my wingtip passing over
So why exactly am I talking about all this??!!…well call it being on high or up in the air, I jus find myself very similar to Ryan. The best being his way of choosing the right queue at the airports. Like Ryan m a racist and scan through the people standing to turn a 15 minutes process to 5. I get irritated with people who are literate but dumb to see and read instructions and has to be assisted at all levels. I mean get a life man! Be smart! Anyway coming back to the movie and my craziness over it, maybe I’m not that bad in running away from family and its attached responsibilities but still given a situation I would love to be all alone…all by myself. The best part of actually living alone without any attachments is that no one expects anything from you. No one expects that no matter what u will pass with flying colors, no matter what you will lead in ur career, no matter what u will find the right guy and so on. Well this could open a debate forum in my mind since my habits and attitude don’t negate that I love to live in the midst of different relationships and the hugs, smiles, pat on my back, compliments and simple smile and acknowledgement makes or breaks me....Infact it is the expectations thats gets me going ...but this is again very unlike Ryan for he was an achiever by himself!
Recently someone said that I need to stop analysing everthing (my bro-in-law also always says this) but the problem is that I can’t free myself from it. And just when I am being myself the two movie soundtracks bang me with their lyrics:
Graham Nash’s - BE YOURSELF
How does it feel, When life doesn't seem real
And you're floating about on your own
Your life seems uncertain,So you draw the curtain
Pretending there's nobody home
Don't theorize, Look in your eyes
They can't tell lies, Though you may disguise what you see
The mirror is free
Sad Brad Smith’s - Help Yourself
I know you'll help us, When you're...
Feeling better and we realise
That it might not be for a long, long time...
But we're willing to wait on you
We believe in everything that you can do
If you could only lay down your mind
I want you to try to help yourself
I can go on and on about the movie and how the various aspects of it move me but I also jus want to say Good Bye…for I have already analised too much and my state of nothingness is gone …so dear Mr. Blog, good night!
The Year That Was !!!
Every year for me that I can think of has begun with a new hope! Infact I clearly remember every time I have been scolded on the first day of the year, that specific year has been amazingly great contrary to the saying that what you do on the first day continues for the rest of the year. Guess normal philosophies do not work for me, just like normal professional situations don’t. So January 2010 began with me cribbing about an entirely new team for the next Lakmé Fashion Week (LFW) who proved very proficient later.
To begin with, the run-up to LFW Summer Resort 2010 began with a tad of uncontrollable situations. Shiv Senas decided to bang Shah Ruk Khan (please read bang as in beat up) on the day of LFW designers and sponsors announcement press conference. So no matter how media friendly ‘My Name is Payal Dass’ was, her PR skills failed to pull media out of the chaos of ‘My Name Is Khan’. This was February 2010. The night before the conference, out of sheer helplessness of the situation and to drown myself in melancholy, I went to the retro party organised by our office. Interesting highlight of that night was in my drunkenness, I went to drop a senior who was worse intoxicated and did not even stay on my way home. (Sshh : His phone was in my hand when his girl friend called; but till date they think am ignorant of their relationship) This was how my 10am to 1am(in the night) work stress continued to breathe fresh and interesting air besides other things like my sudden change of hair style – short and red that invited compliments.
March commenced with Lakmé Fashion Week Summer Resort 2010 fittings, then the event, then the GBM LFW post party celebrations and The Game continued with Pepsi. For people reading this who I have not stressed with my professional updates, here is a quick brief. As far as March is concerned our team was first going berserk with the organised chaos of LFW and then me and my line manager (more of her) were trying to create ‘perception’ for THE GAME campaign by Pepsi…jiska Shrey kisi aur ko gaya instead of my bechari manager who got 70% of the output. The month wrapped up with my best friends coming to town and falling in love with …no not with me but the picturesque Queen’s Necklace at Marine Drive.
The best thing about working madly in LFW is I always managed innumerable comp offs and paid leaves at length (Sshh : In 2009 I managed 5 weeks of holidays ) So the first of those in 2010 was in between a weekend and a midweek holiday from the official list. Me and my colleague, a good friend cum travel buddy, Tanushree Mandal decided to explore Munnar in Kerala. It was one of the best undecided trips I have had – last minute bookings, travelling in trains and 3rd class busses, long treks, breath-taking sceneries, perfect weather, delicious Mallu food and sharing everything with a friend who was poles apart; I could not ask for a better adventurous break from my fast paced Mumbai life. April was thus the month when the planet of travel sparkled on my horoscope and its effects spilled well over the next few months.
May was scheduled for the celebrities. Planning for Abhi-Ash’s way forward in LUX to SRK’s shoot gossips for ‘Pappu and Papa’, my life was interestingly moving towards my next holiday for my former ex-roomate and a close pal, Ananya’s wedding.
In my 21 years of living in Howrah, I have never felt the Ganges so closely. On my stop over at home I and Romila, a school friend, managed a boat ride from Dakhineshar Temple to Belur Matt and back. It was fun, a little costly but a great way to detach and merge into Mother Nature. Suddenly I found the Bengali in me and I could not stop myself from buying a few sarees and wearing them as well. In the bad June heat of Bokaro-Bihar, executing an event like a wedding, where one was not part of the planning phase and has no clue on who’s who… was actually a cake walk. Putting my collars up…. everyone said I look ravishing in and will make a perfect Bengali housewife running around in a saree and taking care of all!
Incase that was too much of I, Me, Myself, I honestly thank and praise God for the grace He bestowed on me that shone on my professional journey. On 30th July, 2010 I realised the regards and love my colleagues had for me as I went through their compliments and wishes and the rocking farewell party they organised for me. But before I left Genesis BM, I managed to go to Amritsar and Chandigarh in the same month. The trip though was official for LUX press conferences….the patriotic feel at Wagah border, the bliss in Golden Temple and the 4 days of Punjabi delicacies were like a bonus to my travel kitty of the year.
And that my friend … was the end of my career …..for the year!!!!
INTERVAL
Have you ever had the perfect dream that suddenly came true out of nowhere, unexpected?! Guess what… it happens in real life …ok may be I’m exaggerating ‘coz it doesn’t happen the way u actually want it but like the saying goes “Agar sache dil se kuch chaho to, tumhe usase milane k liye sare kayanat kosis me lag jate hain” …okie here enters “The Panther Man”. Don’t bother about who I’m talking about, just know that what I thought I could not do…this person stepped in and turned everything into a topsy-turvy. Now the reference with the beginning of the paragraph like I said, normal philosophies work opposite in my case. That was in August and I’m still figuring out how it happened. Time to quote Morpheus’ from Matrix Revolutions … “What happened, happened and could not have happened any other way.”
The interesting irony of existence is that the people who are responsible for your existence in this world are the same people who continue to support for your existence and love you unconditionally. I knew it long back so I seized the opportunity of spending quality time in September with my loving family. This was also the time when revelations took place…not as in the Bible but the spirit of God prevailed. Travel continued …memorable beach-iness in Puri (Orrisa) and drive to Mython Dam (Chatisgarh) were in my words… sexy, alocoholwise flowy and foodwise extravagant (the added kilos of which I’m still struggling to shed).
Back in Mumbai in October, life was very different. In the middle of preparing for my exams, I managed celebrating Durga Puja with didi-bhai and met all my friends who I had not been in touch with but the best was I fasted on 26th! First half of November was the strangest of all, I learnt the art of doing nothing and everything with myself. Diwali being the highlight when I cleaned my apartment, brightened it inside-out and cooked chole-puri for myself. Though by the end of the month my Facebook Status looked like this:
Payal Dass
Week that Was - 20/21 Sabir's B'day full-on party; 22 - Amrita Gami 's bridal shower n farewell get together; 24- Krishna Vilasini bday bash; 26/27 - MY birthday celebrations and para-gliding.....Phew!
November 28 at 3:34pm · · Like · Comment
On my 27th birthday that I couldn’t party due to financial constraints and lack of my so called friends being unavailable, I went paragliding in Kamshet alone. Hung in the air by a parachute and few threads, overlooking a scenic valley, feeling the chill in my skin …. this outlandish birthday celebration would go with me till my grave.
Sunday, 19 December 2010
11:55:51 PM
THIS IS NOW WHEN M WRITING THIS BLOG….DECEMBER HAS BEEN ALL ABOUT HEALTH PROBLEMS, LOSSS OF HOPE, FINANCIAL BURDENS FOR MANY CLOSE PEOPLE ….PERSONALLY I DON’T HAVE A JOB AND ABSOLUTELY CLUELESS OF WHATS NEXT….THEY SAY “ALLS WELL THAT ENDS WELL”……. J
WELL HERE’S MY CHEERS TO THE ACTION PACKED AND UNFORGETTABLE 2010 CALENDER…I LOVED LIVING EVERY BIT OF IT …HOPE U DID TOO!
Hope, like the gleaming taper's light,
Adorns and cheers our way;
And still, as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.
By Oliver Goldsmith British-Irish author (1730 - 1774)
11 more days to bid 2010 adieu and a new hopeJ to unfold! Looking forward with new promises and wishes…..God Bless…Merry Christmas and Have a blasting 2011 ahead…..
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